Abwasserreinigungsanlage, Pt. 2

Ha, I bet you thought I was kidding about that German word until you saw it pictured! You can find anything on Google these days.

Sometimes my inexpensive, nearly-retired, very sweet, gratefully patient Zürich barberess tries to converse with me. It's happened twice now. Of course, I've seen her well over a dozen times already but Zürichers often take a while to warm up to strangers. It didn't help that early in our "relationship" I could barely schedule an appointment via phone in German, so she understandably mistook me for another hapless ex-pat short-timer. But perseverence pays dividends.

Have you ever ordered up a haircut in a foreign language? My initial vocabulary with her consisted of pointing to various areas on my head and instructing kurz (short) or nicht so kurz (not so short). That's actually a big improvement from my first-ever Swiss haircut 20 months ago (!) in Kloten where I communicated through a written note. But she's a professional so the results are always top notch anyway.

I may qualify as her only Under-40 Male in both the age and gender categories. Her clientele consists primarily of gossipy grey-haired ladies using that old-fashioned hair-dryer thingy that sits on your head for 45 minutes (I always politely refuse the hair wash). But once after a particularly lively Schwiizerdütsch gabbing session with a longtime client and subsequent lowering of the hair-dryer thingy on those silver locks, her good mood continued unquenched and she struck up a conversation with the strange new boy. Her Hochdeutsch is quite good, with only a trace of the oftentimes heavy Swiss accent. Both times I unbelievably more or less kept up my end of the conversation. The only problem is that I get nervous and sweat like crazy while she's chatting and cutting my hair. It's excellent real-life practice for me but quite nerve-wracking; my T-shirt feels nearly soaking wet when I finally leave. So what do we talk about?

Well, here's the long answer. The Common European Framework of Reference for Languages (CEFR) is a standardized system that defines foreign-language aptitude by stepwise levels. The levels advance from A1 (beginner) to A2, B1, B2, C1, up to C2 (indistinguishable from a native speaker). So just for kicks, I'm preparing to take the CEFR 'B1' exam sometime this fall, a level usually requiring about 360-400 hours of study to attain. It's defined:

B1 - Can understand the main points of clear standard input on familiar matters regularly encountered in work, school, leisure, etc. Can deal with most situations likely to arise whilst travelling in an area where the language is spoken. Can produce simple connected text on topics which are familiar or of personal interest. Can describe experiences and events, dreams, hopes & ambitions and briefly give reasons and explanations for opinions and plans.

Amazingly accurate for what I currently can and can't do in German. My barberess and I talk about my original home, how Steph and I came to Zürich, how long we've been here and how long we expect to stay, where we work, vacation plans, and lots of general thoughts on dogs. She has no children and when we start to address the pros and cons of kids vs. dogs, her conversation rolls too fast and I can't maintain comprehension; I end up saying something vacuous at the end like, "Um, ja." That B1 level gets stuck at 'brief explanations of opinions'. B2 is truly fluent 'work-level' aptitude requiring an additional 200 hours of study (five hours a week for almost a year) and I ain't there yet.

So hopefully I'll persevere on the exam this fall. Two English-speaking friends have already experienced the ordeal; the test lasts all day with reading comprehension, listening skills, one-on-one conversation and written grammer sections. I'm a grammar whiz but struggle sometimes with hearing comprehension, especially when they record a voice over a loudspeaker or children talking quickly or traffic noise in the background or something similarly ridiculous. On that note, I should probably sign off. I have some studying to do.

By the way, this post title is Steph's favorite German word as seen on a passing sign during her daily train commute; it means "wastewatertreatmentfacility". My favorite word is ausgezeichnet!, it means "excellent!"