Best Burrito in Zürich

Phase Two of last Thursday's self-scripted solo birthday extravaganza began after I exited the Zollikon Schwimmbad, ravenous from intensive bathing. After living in Zürich for nearly four months, toiling through various Mexican-themed restaurants without alighting upon much authenticity, I'd had a sudden epiphany regarding where to finally obtain the best burrito in town. And I struck out to find it for my birthday dinner..!

I reboarded trusty Tram 11, our favorite artery (OK, only artery) into downtown and de-trammed a mere 15 minutes later, swim goggle-marks still slowly disappearing from around my puffy eyes, trotting into the southeast end of Zürich's Altstadt, or Old Town. A stroll through this area from south to north usually requires about twenty to twenty-five minutes without stopping or pausing or browsing at any shops, but driven by hunger and desire I cruised it in about ten. You see, the Old Town's "happenin'" sector, with a majority of restaurants and bars and clubs and greasy snack shops, starts further north in what's called the Niederdorfstrasse area. So that's where I headed, meanwhile reviewing my epiphany:

Longtime blog readers may remember our wonderful Kloten dinner in December with several Swiss neighbors completely unfamiliar with the words taco or burrito. We "New World" North Americans were slightly puzzled and amused, as those items in Chicago constituted a cornerstone of our diet. But since that very night until now, Steph and I (and our Chicago-Zürich friends) have spent eight weeks probing multiple restaurants in a vain attempt to discover even vaguely nostalgic representations of those exact Mexican food items.

Then suddenly the yin of that night hit me in the yang--the burrito as we know it has no place here because its chair is already taken. It was long since preempted by its mysterious older alter ego--an Old World burrito--for which I barely knew the word. Touché! It all makes perfect sense! So! ...Have you heard of a Döner Kebab?

Yes, the Döner Kebab is Turkey's European precursor to Mexico's burrito! (Before I continue, please don't request actual evidence or places or times, or reply with scientifically-backed theories regarding 4,000 years of human migration and adoption patterns of indigenous foodstuffs and animal husbandry. What I'm discussing is street vendor food, for all I know both the present-day burrito and kebab were invented in the 1970's. Your tolerance is appreciated.)

Unfortunately this Döner Kebab picture (although actually quite representative) is perhaps slightly unnerving, because face-on the Kebab appears to want to eat you instead of vice versa. The makeup is basically spiced sliced lamb or veal (never pork), stacked on a spit and roasted vertically (similar to the USA's ubiquitous Greek-American gyros stacks), wrapped in thin pita bread containing also a salad and some sauces (note I was fairly well-traveled in Europe before living here, sorry if the Döner Kebab was somehow obvious and I missed it).

Niederdorfstrasse features at least half a dozen obvious kebab shops, including the “Kebab House,” perfectly analogous to Chicago’s “Burrito House,” what more proof is necessary? After a quick scan, I picked a likely candidate and mentally rehearsed my German ordering scheme. Approaching the counter, I demanded the classic Döner Kebab (no poseur chicken kebab, although the exact meat I received was unknown), mit alles (“with everything”, which includes lettuce, tomato, onion, and a garlicky yogurt sauce) and answered Ja bitte! to the barked question Scharf?, or “hot sauce?” To drink I ordered a large can of Czech Budweiser, not to be confused with the U.S. Budweiser from the August Bush family, accused of blatantly stealing the name from the Czech brewer 100 years ago (totally different story).

Expecting the Kebab to taste mostly like a gyro in a burrito wrapper, I was pleasantly surprised to find it remarkably delicious in a brand new way. Not at all greasy or grainy like too many poor Chicago gyros (and I like a good gyro), if anything more akin to the textural balance of a well-made burrito! I’m hooked! I scarfed down the Kebab, drained the beer and to celebrate further, stopped at another favorite bar/café--the obscurely famous Café Odeon (totally different story)--on the walk back home for another grosses Bier (that means "large," not "gross").

Staggering ever-so-slightly now back to the nearby Bellevue transportation hub, I successfully ran in (not ran into) the awaiting Tram 11 to whisk me home from a birthday evening of successful discoveries, both aquatic and gastronomic.